Diets are one of the most agonizing tortures that the civilized society has ever invented. Skipping the diets owing to pathological causes, those that if you are not on them you are going to die, the worse diets are those which make you lose only "some kilos" to be more beautiful, quicker, and trendier.
In certain moments I would like to live in an Arabic Emirate; there they really know how to appreciate buxom women. I say buxom, not obese and flabby; I’m talking about buttery and soft women, with big breasts and big buttocks. So women are notoriously sweeter, more maternal, cuddly, sensual, nice, happy and witty. Everybody knows this!
Buxom men also exist, but who knows why most of them are defined by our civilized society "a plump man", while a woman who is overweight is "a disgusting fat whale full of cellulite."
In each case, for the adipose ones as for the smokers (you see), life is not easy; they would have lived very well if the inventors of diets and of that period that usually consists of seven days of hunger that comes before an increase of four kilos didn't exist.
Scarsdale’s diet, Weight Watchers’ diet, jockey's diet, score diet, VIP’s diet, dissociated diet, Mediterranean diet, those based on potatoes or lemons, they are not other than the result of the modern alchemy that doesn't look for the philosopher’s stone anymore, but the fastest and more comfortable way to disintegrate flesh.
The show people are experts about diets, and always give wise and smart advices. For instance, the director George Miller, has confessed:
"It’s since eight years and a half ago that I’m on the Valium diet. Taking enough Valium helps you losing weight. It doesn't calm yourself really the appetite, but the big part of the food falls on the
floor."
The Welsh actor Harry Secombe also suggests his obvious method:
"This is my suggestion, if you really want to lose weight: eat how much you want, just don’t swallow the food."
A lady that I know, instead, justifies her overweight in this way:
"I don't fatten up because I eat. I fatten up because I swallow so much air."
Unfortunately, if it was not understood, I am prone to fatten up too and therefore I am perpetually on diet. Think that I am never very hungry. For instance, I don't like sweets. The sight of a croissant does never stimulate my appetite. I am only hungry of pasta, pizza, bruschetta, pizza bread, bread and oil, bread and mayonnaise, bread and salami, bread and butter, bread and cheese... let’s say that after all, I have a preference for the diet BP&E: bread, pasta and enough.
Also my stepdaughter Anna is always on diet. This summer, during a tasty lunch in the country, while I fixed discouraged my dish containing two slices of tomato and a leaf of lettuce with a very surly expression, Ann told me:
"You should do as I do, instead of eating appetizers, the first and the second course, I had only tortellini so that I had just one
dish."
I reply with a tone intended to be sarcastic, but that resulted only hysterical:
"Yes, I see: however, you had three of them."
And the young girl gently answered to me:
"There you are: the appetizer, the first and the second course."
My friend Carlotta is on a “do it yourself” diet. Once she ordered two different desserts contemporaneously for dinner in a restaurant. While she was devouring them with a glad expression, she answered to the scandalized looks of all the guests:
"Anyway... I am eating them without bread! "
Read
Chapter TWO
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Mitì Vigliero Lami - All rights reserved
The editing thanks the author for kindly have granted the sage
‘The Dietphobics'. |
